On-line Job Search Guide
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Things That Have Changed Worksheets
People are often unsuccessful in their job search because they have not dealt with the feelings surrounding the "grief" process. If not dealt with, feelings have a way of coming out sideways. Let's examine the way you are feeling about your employment situation. Now is the time to be truly honest about those feelings.
The exercises that follow ask you to take an honest look at where you are in the process. They cover some very personal feelings. Therefore, complete them in a place where you feel safe. The exercises do not need to be finished in any given order and they can be "for your eyes only."
What changes have occurred in your life over the past 12 months and how do you feel about these changes? The changes may have occurred in your employment situation or in other areas of your life. No matter what the changes may have been, it is valid to look at how you feel about them.
| CHANGES | FEELINGS |
|---|---|
| 1. | . |
| 2. | . |
| 3. | . |
| 4. | . |
| 5. | . |
| 6. | . |
| 7. | . |
| 8. | . |
| 9. | . |
Most of us were taught that if we worked hard, gave 110% to the employer, went the extra mile and did our very best, the company would take care of us and we would enjoy a comfortable retirement. Suddenly, that's no longer the way companies do things. More and more employers are letting long term employees go. Along with the lay-off comes the cancellation of life, health and dental insurance. The pensions we were counting on to make retirement dreams come true end up being spent to pay bills for health insurance, the mortgage, car payments, etc. This is not at all what we expected. And even if you didn't buy into this frame of mind, whatever happened to being treated fairly by the people for whom you worked?
Exercise
Say or write down what is on your mind about your last job. This doesn't have to be sensible or logical . . . no one else needs to see this. How do you feel about your job situation? Write what you are feeling, not what you think. Don't censor yourself; just let it out. (If you are having trouble identifying your feelings, the following list of feeling words might be helpful.)
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| I feel _________________ | I feel __________________ |
| SAD Sorrowful Miserable Empty Mournful Unhappy Despairing Disheartened Dismal Lonely Dismayed Depressed Hopeless Powerless Distressed
HAPPY | SCARED Fearful Anxious Afraid Terrified Apprehensive Frightened Worried Panicky Horrified Insecure Intimidated Alarmed Shaken
CONFUSED
GUILTY
| HURT Disappointed Distrustful Insulted Victimized Wounded
ANGRY
|
Indignant Spiteful Surly Defiant Obstinate Belligerent
ASHAMED
OTHERS |
ExerciseResourcesIf you are uncomfortable expressing your feelings verbally, try writing them down. Write a letter to your former boss, telling her/him exactly how you are feeling. Don't worry about the content or structure of the letter because you are not going to send it. Writing it down may release some anger you might be experiencing and help restore the feeling that you are in control of your life. After you have written the letter, read it aloud and then dispose of it. You could rip it up into small pieces and then burn it. You could wad it up into a ball, bat it around outside with a racquet, and then throw it in the trash. Just do something to get rid of it.
Exercise
Another way to get rid of negative feelings is by doing something physical. You could hit a bucket of golf balls as you verbalize in you mind what you are feeling. "This golf ball is the anger I feel about the way I was treated" or "This is the betrayal I feel." Then let it rip! Just remember to not take things out on your family, friends, or pets.
Check with your local Job Service office to obtain a listing of local resources that can help you during this time. The list may include free job search support groups and area agencies that can provide help. One such resource is First Call for Help, which is a compilation of resources useful to all consumers and serves as a convenient reference tool.
TO A NEW EMPLOYER IF YOU ARE STILL ANGRY WITH THE LAST ONE!!!! |
Identity Worksheets
So who are you, anyway? If someone asked you that question, what would be your response? It is easy to respond by naming the roles we play. But do those roles truly define us? If someone says she is a "mommy," other than the fact that she has at least one child, what do you really know about the person? The same is true if the person were a doctor, teacher, construction worker, or ditch digger. Since our roles in life often change, we can maintain a healthy self-image by learning to recognize ourselves apart from those roles.
In the following exercise, think about how you would describe yourself without using the many roles you fill. For example, a person might say they were sociable, stubborn, and thoughtful. Maybe they would use words such as mystical, confident, and playful. Use words that you feel truly describe you in a positive way. Remember, no one else needs to see your list.
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
| I am_________________ | I am __________________ |
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This page was last updated on April 17, 1997
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